Sabrina Minton Mrs. Laura Ahmed English 3A 10-25-10 Verbal Abuse The reason why I choose this topic is because I have been a victim of verbal abuse. Many people know or have heard of someone that has been verbally abused. Many people including myself be suffer in silence and feel isolated. Many parts of human action, include the mind and heart. “As he thinks within himself, so he is”. What does a person think in his or her mind, and heart will be reflected and his or her words or actions. In this paper, I want to address this very important issue in an effort to understand this phenomenon and provide answers.
Verbal abuse and physical abuse result from a world view that is clearly not biblical. The difficulty of verbal abuse is that there are no visible signs. The majority cases; verbal abusers are often male and the victim is usually female. Kerby Anderson who wrote “Verbal Abuse” has many degrees. He has a B. S. from Oregon State University, M. F. S from Yale University, and M. A. from Georgetown University. And has authored many books (Anderson). Patricia Evan has written many books and has been seen on KTLA5THECW, FOX11 NEWS, Oprah Winfrey Show, Sonya Live-CNN and NEWS TALK.
She has done over two hundred radio programs, and seventeen national television shows (Evans). Kerby Anderson says he writes his paper from an educated point of view but more importantly he is man. Men are most often the abuser in a relationship; with women being the victim. Mr. Anderson has several degrees and advocates that both the victim and abuser seek help and support within their religious faith. He feels that this behavior is often learned at home and that devotion to family and church and help train these abusers.
He also suggests that godly men and women gather together to lovingly confront the person who is verbally abusing the victim. He suggests that the abuser confronts their sin and make an attempt to change with the support of the church. Patricia Evans does not have an educational degree but has written several books and established a foundation for support and workshops for people who feel that have been abused. Ms. Evans is a woman and has a very therapeutic point of treatment. She feels angry or critical words will destroy your confidence or self-esteem. She views verbal abuse s a boiling cauldron of pain and anguish in possibly millions of homes. She worries that a person who might cross from verbal to physical abuse is likely to show signs of an impending physical assault by launching intense and repeated verbal attacks, by indulging in rages or by becoming abusive in public. She tends to address the needs of the abuser with support groups, workshops and books to help identify behavior and help recognize and deal with abusive people. I wrote my paper with a personal bias, as I have been the victim of verbal abuse. I decided to compare two different authors based on approach, education and gender.
Although only Mr. Anderson has degrees, both have written books and have excellent references. I really liked that both people had a written books. Often time’s victims are of low income and self help books can be a great resource. Mr. Anderson suggests the church as s support group and for many people this would probably be a workable option. I personally prefer a more therapeutic approach. I thought the establishment of workshops with people who had experienced similar situations and the added support of therapists and staff; would make for a better option to help stop the pattern of abuse.
The workshops would seem to be the best way to educate yourself and learn the behavior skills to help assure you avoid future situations. I felt both authors had excellent information. Mr. Anderson’s information was in a book form with 7 pages that read like a textbook. Ms. Evans information was keyed to specific questions that a person would answer, according to their feeling and situation. Again there are questions that redirect the reader to another page with topic specific information with a set of questions to see if you needed more information; or had obtained the information you needed.
The pages also linked to workshops, support groups, self help books, and videos. Mr. Anderson’s advice and information may suit some people well and they may already attend a church. To be fair Mr. Anderson’s information is relevant for anyone, just as Ms Evans would be appropriate for a religious person. If someone was looking for good information and options of the subject, either author would be able to provide that.
Works Cited Anderson, Kerby. Probe Ministries Verbal Abuse. 14 July 2002. ;lt;www. leaderu. com;gt;. Patricia, Evans. Verbal Abuse Survivors Speak Out: On Relationship and Recovery . 1993.
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