I always believed divorce was the worst mistake a couple could make. Now that I am older I now have a different view on divorce. My parents divorced when I was seventeen years old, and since going through this experience I view divorce differently. Although most people think of divorce as a negative thing, I think sometimes it turns out to be the best decision for everyone involved. When I was a little girl all I would hear from people is how divorce was wrong and couples should always work out their differences.
My parents would always assure me that “no matter how much we fight, we will never get a divorce”. As the years went on things started changing in my parent’s relationship and we saw their marriage starting to dissolve. My sister and I could see that they were no longer the happily married couple they had been for the past 25 years. Eventually my father’s personality started to change, and he no longer was interested in family activities or spending quality time with my sister and I. He was not the dad we had known our whole lives. After realizing his behavioral changes he finally went to go see a professional.
After a few sessions with the doctor and many counseling sessions with my mom, my dad was diagnosed with depression. We had already seen first hand what depression could do to a marriage, as his parents had gotten divorced after my dad’s mother was diagnosed with depression. As time went by I saw my father’s depression taking a toll on my mother’s happiness and her daily attitude. I wanted both of my parents to be happy, but was that too much to ask of them to stay together? I knew my father had changed and was not the same man my mom had fallen in love with 25 years earlier.
My dad was no longer the fun, ambitious, adventurous guy my mom had met back in college. Instead my dad was bitter, had frequent outburst, and a constant negative outlook on life. When my parents finally reached the decision to divorce my family knew it was going to be a tough road ahead. Although my sister and I were upset we knew it was for the best, it was just going to take some adjusting. Luckily the divorce was very civil and my parents are still able to maintain a peaceful relationship for the sake of my sister and I. We both know my parents love us and that the divorce had nothing to do with anything we had done.
My dad has since gotten help and my sister and I visit him often. He is getting back to the fun, loving, kind man we all knew him to be. Unfortunately, my dad waited to late to make changes in his life to save his marriage. Today, my parents are both in healthy relationships with other people. My sister and I enjoy spending time with both families and feel blessed these new people are in our lives. I had a very negative view on marriage when my parents told me they were divorcing, but since that time I feel not everyone gets divorced and marriage takes a lot of work.
Although the divorce was hard to swallow, it is good to see both of my parents happy again. Now that my parent’s divorce is final everyone seems to be more peaceful and happy with their lives. I am not saying divorce is the right decision for everyone, but I am saying depending on the situation sometimes it is the best choice. I have learned through my experience not to judge others that are divorced because everyone’s situation is different. I feel my parents made the right decision for our family and I am a stronger, and happier person as a result.
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